Destiny
by Scout's Rambles
Summary: Trains ran late. Yet destiny was on track.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Not beta-ed. All mistakes are mine.**

The first time I met you, I was eight years old. You had come with your parents to get admitted to my school. I only caught a glimpse of you as you were leaving, but it was enough. That particular moment is imprinted in my memories, even now, after everything that has happened. It's the first thing I think of when I think of you.

Your hair was the color of pennies. I remember thinking how pretty it looked under the sun. It was long and fell into your eyes and it annoyed the hell out of you. Come to think of it now, maybe that's how your habit of agitatedly running your hand through your hair started.

I didn't know which grade you were in. I didn't know your name. I didn't know you. But that didn't stop me from hoping that I'd see you again. And a few days later, there you were in my classroom, sitting behind me, scribbling quietly in your notebook.

You didn't see me, but I saw you.

I always saw you.

Let me stop you here. I want to add a few side notes to this story‒to my side of this story. Maybe then you can relate.

I was never a believer of fate. Things don't happen simply because they are meant to happen. It's all bullshit.

Case in point: My mother married a man who was twelve years senior to him. It was an arranged marriage. Seven years into the marriage, my father died, leaving us penniless. My mother had to work three jobs to make ends meet. Needless to say, my childhood was pretty rough. I remember a time when I had asked my mother why she had agreed to marry my dad. If I recall clearly, this is how the conversation went:

Me: So, why did you marry him if you didn't love him?

Renee: It was what my family expected of me. I couldn't let them down.

Me: That's bullshit, Mom.

Renee: Language, Bella!

Me: Sorry…. Did you have any boyfriends?

Renee: (smiles slightly) Well, there was this one guy. Stop doing that with your eyebrows, Bee. Stop it! Fine, I'm not going to continue if you're going to be so childish about it.

Me: Aww, fine. Tell me.

Renee: There's really nothing to tell. He liked me. We went out for a while. I broke it off with him when you dad came into the picture.

Me: Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you didn't breakup with that guy?

Ma: (Shrugs) Sometimes. (Looks at me) But I don't regret anything. I have you and you're enough.

It was all a load of crap.

If she had had enough courage to do what she actually wanted, she's have led an entirely different life. Maybe I wouldn't been a part of it, but at least she wouldn't have had anything to regret.

And trust me when that my mother was regretful.

Do you see what I'm going for, here?

Can you understand?

I didn't understand fate or destiny. I didn't want to understand it, least of all believe in it.

I insist that you read the sentence above at least twice because I can assure you that it'll make you laugh once or twice as we progress with this story.

Oh, the irony.

Now, where were we? Oh, right.

School.

You joined my school when I was in the second grade, and by some stroke of luck (don't even think about the f word) you landed in my class. But I don't think you really noticed me until we were in the third grade.

Third grade was a bit different than the second. We were in the same class, but in different sections. I saw your face every day, but I hardly ever talked to you. Third grade was a blur. I don't remember anything.

Except for the glitters.

It was Father's day and the teachers had packed away all the students into one large classroom and given us stationaries to make cards for our Dads. Although I loved crafts, I wasn't really into making a card that day. What was the use any way? It's not like I had a father to give the card to. Like every other Father's day, I was expecting to go home and throw the glorified piece of paper in a dustbin so that my mother wouldn't have to look at it.

So, there I was, in my seat, doodling away when you planted your cute little bum on the seat beside me.

I think I may have stopped breathing.

You leaned sideways to get a look at my card and you frowned in the most adorable way.

"Is something wrong?" I choked out.

You had green eyes. Green eyes with flecks of golden scattered about. I felt like all I could do was stare at them. And then you opened your mouth and I just about died.

"I think it needs a bit of glitter."

I couldn't make sense of your words but I saw you push your glitter glues towards me and I picked one up.

"Not that one. Use blue."

I did as you said and used the blue glitter. You watched me for a while but then you got bored and started working on your card. By the time I was finished, my card did not look half bad.

"Looks nice."

I smiled at you and you smiled back.

"Thanks."

And that was all the interaction we had that year.

The next year was disastrous.

You want to know why?

It's because that's the year I realized that I had a crush on you.

The years that followed were even worse.

You want to know why?

It's because I realized that I was hopelessly in love with you.

And now as I am sitting here writing this story about us, I'm sure about one thing.

You're my destiny, Edward Cullen.

You can laugh now.

 **Idk. I just wanted to write. Leave your thoughts.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

You used to be the quietest soul. I can't say that I understood your popularity back at school. You hardly ever talked. How could you have made so many friends?

I also remember how you looked back then.

You were all lanky limbs and lazy smiles.

Freckled nose and fluttery, long eyelashes.

You were a heart breaker in the making.

I remember how much you loved to play basketball. I remember Em, your best friend. You two were like peas in a pod.

Do you remember Em, Edward?

Last I heard, his parents were getting a divorce. I don't know what happened to him after that. He fell off the face of the earth.

Just checked his Facebook account. The last time he posted something, it was 2015.

I hope he's doing well. He was a good friend. He was an honest friend. He was the first one to tell me that I should get the fuck over you.

Too bad I was too stupid to listen.

…

Fourth grade was a whirlwind.

I didn't understand my feelings for you.

Why did it feel like someone twisted a knife into my heart every time you smiled at Allie?

Side note: Allie was queen bee. Isn't there one for every class? The teachers adored her. The boys followed her like puppies. The girls wanted to be her.

I hated her.

Now, she's one of my best friends.

Destiny is a smartass bitch.

Did I hear a chuckle?

Told you.

So, anyways. Fourth grade didn't teach me much, but it did teach me how to play FLAME.

Even that stupid little game knew we could never be together.

You were meant to be my enemy, Edward.

I was never supposed to fall in love with you.

You know, sometimes, I blame you for that. You didn't have to be so perfect all the damn time. You didn't have to be so kind to me.

Why weren't you like the rest of them?

You could have saved yourself a hell lot of embarrassment.

You could have saved me from loving you.

…

I was a very stupid girl.

Not academically. Just with everything else.

I had a collection of things that belonged to you. I wasn't stealing them. You were just a very forgetful boy.

My collection consisted of:

a) A pencil with your name engraved on the side of it.

b) One of your sketches from Art class.

c) ...

Well, it was hardly a collection.

Like I said.

Stupid.

I liked you so much, but I couldn't talk to you. I saw you in class every day. You were always so polite.

Did you even see me back then?

Did you know my name?

Or was I just the smart, fat girl who had prettier friends?

And that brings us to our first life lesson on the matters of the heart:

No matter how much you may love a boy, no matter how good you may be for him, he'll always choose the prettier girl.

The universe doesn't make sense to me.

It's screwed up.

So is our destiny.

 **A/N: Thank you for the reviews. Next update is tomorrow. Leave me your thoughts.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Not beta-ed. All mistakes are mine.**

* * *

2007

It was the year that changed everything.

For some absurd reason, I had hoped for positive change.

Naïve.

That's what I was.

Nevertheless, change had come. Just not the positive kind.

…

"Hey, Bella."

Everyone called me Bee. Only you called me Bella.

I never understood why.

"Hey, Bella."

That's how you greeted me every morning. In return, I used to stutter a reply.

It almost felt as if my heart would beat out of my chest every time I talked to you.

I don't know if you've fallen in love yet.

If you have not, let me warn you.

That's how it feels when you fall in love for the first time.

…

Back to 2007.

As I said, it was full of changes.

Change came through new uniforms. The school authorities had somehow managed to make them even more uncomfortable than they already were.

Change came in the way I started to bleed from my vagina every month.

Change came in the form of Rosalie Hale.

Rosalie Hale.

She was one of those girls you knew would grow up to be stunning.

Blond hair.

Blue eyes.

She was angelic.

The boys fell head over heels. The girls whispered.

It was the usual drama.

Can you guess who the first person to befriend Rose was?

Go ahead, take a shot. I'll wait.

You know it wasn't you. You know it wasn't any of the boys. They were too chicken shit.

It was Allie Whitlock.

Why, you ask?

When your social status is under threat, you do whatever you can to eliminate the problem.

In this case, you befriend the problem.

Good, old school politics.

…

You liked Rose. I could tell.

I liked Rose too. She was different than Allie. She was genuinely a nice person.

I used to eat lunch with them every day.

I didn't like Allie. She was a snob and a bitch.

I didn't like their girly gossip.

But they didn't need to know all of that.

I was doing what I could to get by.

And from the looks of it, I was doing a mighty fine job.

Until the day I accidentally let it slip that I liked you.

…

I begged her.

I literally begged Allie not to tell anyone.

From the moment I let my secret slip, I knew I was screwed. I had seen that spark of light that flashed across Allie's eyes. No matter what I said or did, I knew she would use my mistake to her own advantage.

Nonetheless, she had promised.

She promised not to tell anyone.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt.

…

Then she told everyone.

The next morning, there was no 'Hey, Bella'.

People stared and snickered.

You couldn't even look at me.

But you couldn't avoid me in class. You sat rigidly in your seat and you stared ahead.

Your friends kept glancing towards me and laughing under their breath.

I knew they were teasing you.

I'm sorry for that.

But you were laughing along with them. You were laughing at me.

I'm going to tell you a few things now, Cullen. Read carefully.

I'm sorry for all the embarrassment I've caused you.

But I'm not sorry for loving you.

You didn't kill me that day, but you killed me in every other way that counted.

You destroyed my confidence.

You demolished my self-worth.

You killed me inside.

Why didn't you just come to me?

Why didn't you just tell me?

Why?

…

I wish this would have been the end of our story.

I wish this would have been the end of all the pain and agony that we caused each other.

But there's much more to come

You know that.

Hold on.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Thank you for the rec, Fran! I hope you liked the chapter. Leave me your thoughts.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Not beta-ed. All mistakes are mine.**

* * *

The opposite of loving is not hating.

It's leaving.

You have no clue what I'm talking about, do you?

Right, then. Let's come back to this later.

…

Your mom was all I wanted be when I grew up.

Beautiful.

Elegant.

Successful.

She was mesmerizing.

I used to watch all the shows in which she appeared. It somehow made me feel closer to you.

And then there was little Jas. Oh, how I miss him!

It was fascinating how dissimilar you two were, regardless of being brothers.

I wonder what he looks like now.

Does he remember me?

Don't answer that. Of course, he doesn't. He was only a toddler the last time I saw him.

Stupid question. My bad.

How's your family doing? Is your Dad still in Japan?

I have so many questions.

But these are simply my words for myself.

You'll never answer.

…

I didn't know.

It seemed as if everyone knew, except me.

Did it ever occur to you that I might need a warning?

A sign?

Something?

I was totally unprepared.

I was defenseless.

It's not as if you owed me anything.

But the least you could have done is say goodbye.

…

Pens.

One of the many reasons that day still hurts so much.

It was as if dropping pens left and right had become your habit.

And it was as if picking them up had become mine.

No matter how annoyed I looked, I really wasn't all that annoyed.

I was giddy with joy.

The seat plan for that week forced you to seat beside me. But it didn't look forced.

You seemed happy.

You smiled.

You talked.

You talked to me.

"How many times are you going to drop this pen?" I had asked angrily.

"As many times as you are willing to pick it up for me," You had replied smoothly.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why say words you don't mean?

You are truly heartless, Edward Cullen.

I was there.

I was always there!

Where were you?

…

You remember that journal that Em got you as a going away gift?

The one you didn't want because it had girly shit drawn all over?

The one that you gave to me just because I happened to have standing beside you?

Yeah, that.

I still have that.

It still doesn't contain a word.

How would it be filled? Our story ended before it even began.

Was there even a story to begin with?

There was just me.

And my thoughts.

And my feelings.

None of which you ever wanted.

…

Remember how we started?

The opposite of loving is not hating.

It's leaving.

You left.

So suddenly, so abruptly that I was caught off guard.

I didn't get the time to catch my breath.

You were my first love. To that, I attest.

So, what? People fall out of love all the time. I was determined to move on.

I was determined to let you go.

It was an end. A closure.

Or so I thought.

But then destiny stepped in.

And I've been riding shotgun ever since.

* * *

 **Sorry.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **Not beta-ed. All mistakes are mine.**

* * *

Out of sight meant out of mind.

Or so, I had hoped.

I'm not saying it's not true.

It is, partially.

My days got better after you left. It became easier to breathe.

I didn't feel as constricted anymore.

I felt a lot lighter.

And not just figuratively.

Days after you left, I had come to a sudden realization.

I ate food not because it nourished me, but because it filled me.

It filled a void within me.

It made me feel better somehow.

At that age, it was too soon for me to understand what was happening. I didn't know that the emotions I was feeling were not normal.

But when you left, something changed.

I realized that I didn't need the excess amount of food I was consuming.

So I took a step back.

I threw myself into my studies, made new friends, went shopping and only ate when I needed to.

Things were slowly getting better.

The change was visible. People noticed and paid compliments.

My self-esteem that you had absolutely demolished slowly began to build up again.

Falling in love at an early age was my biggest mistake.

I had never gotten to know myself. Everything I did, everything I saw, everything I said was dictated by your preferences.

None of it was me.

When you left, I found myself.

After a point, I was very grateful for your departure from my life. It had worked out for the better, it seemed.

But you kept coming back to me.

Through hushed whispers.

Through coincidences.

Through the strands of faith that tied our fate.

…

I tried to avoid your remaining traces in my life like a plague.

Whenever I heard your name, I ran in the opposite direction.

But try as I might, I still could not escape you.

There was talk of a new school, of a new girl and of a new life.

I could not help but overhear.

You were doing well, it seemed.

Your Tanya was supposedly very pretty. The rumors said so.

I wanted to see her, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good.

So I kept quiet, put my head down and used the last of my strength to remove you from my thoughts.

And eventually, the talk died down.

…

I rarely ever dreamt of you.

But when I did, it meant trouble.

Trouble.

As in, you.

It had been a couple of years since you left my school.

By then, I felt like a new person.

And I looked like one too.

But you already know that.

Let me tell you about the things you don't know instead.

I remember that day clearly. How could I ever forget?

I had spent the previous night tossing, turning and thinking about you.

It was ridiculous how strongly your thoughts still affected me.

I was volunteering to raise funds for homeless people that day and the sleep deprivation from the previous night made me incredibly cranky.

The work was hard. By the end of the day I was exhausted and looked like one of the dead. Not have eaten anything the entire day, some of my friends and I decided to go for some ice-cream.

So there I was, greasy, dirty, sweaty from a day's hard work, enjoying my double scoop of chocolate ice cream when you casually strolled back into my life.

I saw you before you saw me and I instinctively hid behind my hair.

Then Em, who had been volunteering with me, saw you and called out your name.

 _That idiot._

I don't blame him. He hadn't seen you for a long time. I knew he missed you.

They all missed you.

Upon hearing your name being called, you looked at our table. You looked at Em and your face broke out in a huge smile.

Then your eyes landed on me.

And you stopped on your tracks.

…

I didn't know until much later why you had stopped.

Why you paused.

But in that moment, when you stopped walking towards me and our friends, you confirmed my biggest fear.

I had always thought you left school because of me.

Because I had become so troublesome to deal with.

And the moment you paused, you confirmed my fear.

But you were never an asshole.

Always a gentleman.

I watched as you slapped back the smile on your face and continued your way towards us. You greeted everyone hello and hugged some of our friends and when someone asked you to join us, you took the only vacant chair next to me without hesitation.

I was never a very social person and I hardly ever talked infront of strangers.

And you had become a stranger to me.

So I kept quiet and listened to your stories.

I marveled at how easily you got along with people.

Even after two years of hardly any contact you slid back into place with us as if you had never left.

At one point in the conversation, you asked, "So, what's new with you people?"

They caught you up and you listened attentively.

I was too much of a coward to fully look at you.

So I stared at your hands instead.

They had matured too. Your hands were larger and the veins ran more prominent.

Scars from guitar strings marked your fingers.

You still played the guitar, then.

At least some things never changed.

When it was time to leave, I finally looked up.

I looked up to find your eyes on me.

It was then that I realized I had not said a single word to you.

Good.

You didn't deserve my words.

People bid you farewell and started leaving one by one. Em hugged you goodbye and you guys made plans to meet up soon. I snorted internally.

As if that was ever going to happen.

I knew you had absolutely no intention of meeting us ever again.

Em was supposed to give a ride home so I started to follow him out when…

You called out my name.

Clear as day.

"Bella."

I stopped but I didn't turn.

I stood my ground as I heard your footsteps slowly come toward me.

You stopped an inch away and leaned down to whisper your words in my ear.

"You look beautiful."

…

I neither had the mental nor the physical stamina to give you a reply back then.

But I do now.

Fuck you, jackass.

* * *

 **Now we're getting there. ;)  
**


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